The Zhangs in Cali ep4. One Drink.

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Not a lightweight...

Death & Co

I was just exaggerating, ladies and gents. Only had one drink called Transmutation. It was a mixture of:

“Compass Box Artist Blend Scotch, Banhez Phinapple Brandy, Bruichladdich Port, Charlotte 10 year Single Malt Scotch, Allspice Dram, Orange bitters, Absinthe.”

I wish there were more artificial candles.

My heart was trembling as everyone was passing and tasting each other’s drinks, because mine was literally about to disappear. It is just a classic mix of shots, just a 20-dollar, 250 mL poison.

Oof, didn’t even need a chaser. My throat was burning for a bit. But hey, representing all Chinese girls, I chugged half a bottle of tequila in one night in the first month of my junior year. What is the big deal?

That Death & Co bar was so freaking hot. I mean the temperature.

Ok, I guess I haven’t been drinking for a little bit. It was just so hot bro. But I acted like I was ok because I just bragged about how much I love shots, and only pure shots for the pre and monstrous cups for the game. I mean, I did, I just did not expect this half-empty 20-dollar drink to make me this dizzy. Dude, how can I get ready for the rave next month if I’ve become this lightweight?! Nancy!!

I can tell I was drunk by the way I was zoning out. Time flew by so slowly, and Jonathan’s voice and Jiayi’s complaint seemed to be distant. Nancy, if you are drinking just to get drunk, then you shouldn’t drink at all. Nancy, watch the stop sign. Nancy, don’t sit on the chair wearing outdoor pants. Nancy, don’t let the cat jump into the toilet. Nancy… Dude, Jiayi, wtf.

Jonathan tapped my shoulder, and I was back from the trance. He was posting food stories at 12 am. This guy was laughing so hard as he hit “send”. All I did was giggling like a brainless fuck. What was I thinking? I kept staring at his piercing on the cartilage. I had 2 piercings there, but both of them got infected and pretty bloody scary. By bloody scary, I really mean bloody. They were bloody! I rushed to UrgentCare in the middle of prototyping for Dominion (COSI 103??). Ouch, it hurt. It still hurts! And my pinkly. I think the broken bones grew into a non-straight line. Yet do you know? In Chinese 武侠 fiction, only those with abnormal bone structures were considered the toughest talents. You gotta be a little weird to bear the gift. But how is it related to me? I did play some good matches with that broken pinky, though, but vaping like crazy (I am ashamed of that). I thought it was bad for the osteoclast, but who cares? Now I forever have a non-straight finger, but who cares? God, I want to zone out again. Deep diving and brain rotting is such a high. The conversations around me were crystal clear, but I was disengaging from the meaningless back-and-forth. I finished my drink, and now I want more.

The Next Day

I was listening to Fred Again, and suddenly I realized the life I truly want: full of chaos and struggles. Never structured and never peaceful. I would always torture myself, but I am absolutely in love with it. All my inspos come from the mess, and all my thoughts thrive upon randomness. I want to learn CS because I have to always step towards something new outside of my comfort zone. I want to be a DJ because I wanna have fun all night long, that simple. Even things that I quit played a role. Somehow I deliberately forced myself into that situation just to escape out of it and write a memo, altho I suck at English. Huzzah!

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Published 28 May 2025