Last Internship Post:
Dear Intern ep12. End-of-Cycle Presentation.Main Plots Start Here
10 weeks passed just like that.
Going to Las Vegas baby!
The 5 People You Meet In Heaven
I am on the plane to Vegas right now, and I was suddenly thinking about this book: The 5 People You Meet in Heaven. Also, someone once said that you never know when it will be the last time you speak to someone in your life. Am I going to see my manager and teammates one more time? Am I going to meet those two remote dudes in real life? Crazy. I have never met them face-to-face, yet I feel like I know them well. Those two people have spent more time in the CS industry than I have spent living on earth. I am having some detachment issues. I wouldn’t call them syndromes, because that seems a bit too serious.
Why so serious? Why so serious??
I thought I am 21 years old and have already said enough goodbyes in these short waves of life, but I can never get used to them.
Bill
Bill. I was thinking about Bill. On 6/9, Monday, I was roaming around the office, trying to locate his desk for a quick hi, not noticing that his desk was right in front of mine. Trust me, the moment I saw him, well, I mean, after moments of chatting and some rounds of conversations and debugging, I knew that he reads people too, but just does not give as much fuck as I do. I knew that he had gotta be crazy when he was young. He is very American. He might have been a frat boy or a fuck boy when he was young. Sorry, am I being a bit disrespectful here? I mean, I think he is very cool. He is SO COOL. He worked with nuclear powers before. He did both hardware and software engineering. He said, the reason that those nuclear industries are so damn expensive, is that every company is SO DIFFERENT… When I look into his eyes, I see a lot of things buried inside the blue. His hair is all white. I wonder what it is like going through all those years.
The only chills I got from Seurat were when Bill was stressing the importance of pulling and renewing the Docker images. I know I made the same mistakes many times, way too often. I was shivering.
Anton
Anton. I don’t even remember the last sentence we said to each other in person. He invited me for lunch on Wednesday. It was a casual lunch. Mainly me listening and the adults talking. Was that the last time? No, the last time I talked to him was right before my presentation. I was happy to see him walking out of a room in the lobby, so I said, “You are here!” Chirpy. He said, ahh, he has kids-pick-up duty, so he needed to leave. He did not see my presentation because his connection got bad, but he said he believes I will do a great job, and of course, the team knows what I have done.
Anton was always so nice to me. A bit too nice, I think. Mister… You don’t need to be this polite to an intern and assume I am busy. I am an intern. What could I possibly be doing that makes me busy? Please dump me with documentation work and make my hands twitch. You don’t even ask me to grab coffee for you.
You never get mad and lash out at people. Never have I ever seen you raise your voice. You are a true Ukrainian gentleman, always looking out for me, caring about me, keeping track of everything.
Typing this down right now is making a part of me very soft, and I feel attacked.
Thank you, SLICE team, for trusting me enough to make changes in the company codespace, for not criticizing me even once after breaking the URL, misunderstanding the task, and stuttering in the standup.
Tom
The first glance was when I was sprinting from the wrong building, and Tom provided me with a warm welcome. I thought playing the victim could save me some sympathy. The perfect start was not there, but Tom made me an uncle-next-door impression.
I was getting coffee this morning, zoning out as my head spirals.
“Are you done with the coffee machine, Nancy?”
Oh, holy god.
“Absolutely.”
Tom told me, Good job on the presentation! You came to the US… was it 2 years ago? Impressive. Where did you learn English?
Unlike Bill, I couldn’t read Tom. Because I was intimidated tenderly. He seems to be nice, but nice with some conditions. The reason I escaped from those conditions is that I am an intern. Is that the way it is?
We have always had chit-chats when we meet around the fridge or the coffee machine. That was the aura coming from a VP.
Interns
I thought I was not that serious, but maybe I am not. I don’t even talk to the other interns that much. Our only shared topics are free food, doom-scrolling, clocking in and out, and all the good mornings, good byes, and peace out.
But I am feeling like hiding when everyone is packing up their things, wrapping up wires, and leaving the computers on the intern desk. The thought of last sentences and last glances is freaking me out. Do I get to see them again? I wouldn’t go out of my way to see them again, but will I see them again? We will stay in touch, but do I get to see them again?
The wall under my table was full of dirt and hella grey because I kept kicking the wall while watching the tests fail and the code not running.
Why can’t things just stay the way they are? In that case, it will be awfully boring. People come and go, but why don’t I just get that? I feel so childish.
Last Day
I carried a whole tray of catered veggie bowls to the airport with me. Luckily, nobody saw that. It has been inside the fridge for 3 days, and nobody has touched it. Jocelyn told me to talk the whole thing, so why not?
And as I left the building door closed behind me, I realized that it had been a little bit more than 2 months since I first came to Seurat, and my summer had 2 weeks left.
Thanks
I think I had a good summer.
Went solo to Cali, New York *2 (going to be 3), Chicago, Texas. Going to Vegas. Was drinking every weekend for about 2 months. Got to know some really cool people. Made a work bestie. Kept a cat. Met a frog.
…
It really is my best summer ever, judging from the previous ~10 summers that I can remember. I love it. Being in Malden and all. Having drama in the sublet or whatnot. Getting stoned or hammered or both. Highs and lows.
Thank you loads to whoever and whatever that made all of those happen. I have a feeling that I am going to feel so cringe about this post in the future. But currently I really like how things are going now, and I am looking forward to getting things absolutely f**ked up in Vegas, New York, and my last year at Brandeis, of course. Hopefully, I can become the sober chaperone inside our going-out group. Or can I?
What happened in NY has happened way outside of NY, but Vegas though?? Just kidding!
No More Next Up Here, Actually:
This is the end of my Dear Intern series! Thank you for reading all the way till here. Appreciate you. 🤍🩵💙
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