Last Internship Post:
Dear Intern ep6. Fun Facts 2.0.Main Plot Starts Here
I hope everyone becomes a billionaire.
Context: The company had an “All Hands: Beer with the Boss” event in a place called Treehouse.
The email said, “All work should be done by 3 pm… I hope to see everyone there with a drink, or waiting for a drink…”
Tom in a Corner
Happy Birthday Emma!
Emma drove Chirag and me to the Treehouse. On our way, we tried merging into a line that was totally packed because none of us realized how sus it was that we were on a lane that was way too empty. I reached my right arm out of the window, and the driver behind was kind enough to let us squeeze in. No on honked!
We reached. Big club space! I suddenly felt rich. It was very Gatsby. Emma laughed out loud when I said “Gatsby.”
View from the Treehouse balcony. Is it giving Gatsby?
Emma gave me 2 extra beer tickets because she was driving. Thank you Emma!
We wandered around doing nothing. This one dude on the golf field will never know that he was eyed by 5 innocent interns. The vodka Seltzer tastes just like sugary water. Boring.
Boring.
The CEO started an enthusiastic speech!
The interns were all standing in a corner beside the stove, eyeing the CEO through the shoulders of a mid-size crowd.
An old guy, Tom, squeezed into the corner. He’s got snow-white hair and a mildly hoarse voice. I introduced myself and offered a handshake. He said, oh… my hands are greasy… Let’s just do an air handshake. So we did an air handshake. (???)
We started a conversation about… dogs. I told him I have a dog in China. He told me he always wanted a small poodle, but his landlord won’t allow him. He was living in the same house with his landlord for over 25 years. At this point, is he still a landlord?
All the interns were standing like trees in a forest, but Tom was sitting down like a tree stump. He told me that he wants to be in a position where he can see others, but others cannot see him.
In this perfectly safe corner that he found, Tom’s head almost dropped between his knees. He was dozing off when the CEO said that our company is slaying faster than ever.
I was standing for 1.5 hours.
A spider was crawling on Liam’s back.
I Made Friends/Connections
50% of the crowd dipped right away after the CEO’s speech. Emma was gone within a blink. Tom disappeared faster than my self-esteem. I stuck around with Chirag, just talking, munching pizza, and sipping on sugary water.
We talked quite a lot about Masters, Asian systems, shares, future life… Chirag seems very enthusiastic about planning out a good life, regardless of it being late-night library sessions in college, or a regular 9-5 in an office. He is 3 years older than me, and I think he’s got his shit figured out. I gained quite some insights from him. We even developed a handshake?!
Chirag’s birthday is on 3/9! Holy god. I instantly developed a master plan: the party starts with a tequila shot on Bhakti’s birthday (3/8), peaks for 3 consecutive midnights, and closes with some high-class champagne on Chahana’s big day (3/12).
One of the best things I learned from this internship: I got to talk to so many people who are older, wiser, and smarter than me. Every day, I learned something new about not only CS but also the industry trends, US culture, and just life in general. I am truly, truly grateful.
Before leaving Treehouse, I connected with a colleague, Z. Z is from Shanghai too! He started talking to me directly in Shanghainese… I stuttered, and he immediately bantered that I am a 洋泾浜 (speaks bad Shanghainese). We added each other’s WeChat. Not Slack or iMessage or WhatsApp. WeChat! I am crying after that little green icon. It really felt heart-warming connecting with a homie, who, according to his WeChat posts, is lecturing in some schools about Machine Learning?! Hello?! Professor Cashman, are you proud of me?
Touch Some Fish
The next day, I was trying to pretend as if I were working while “multitasking” — talking to Z on WeChat. I asked him, how did you know I am from Shanghai too? He said, it’s on your LinkedIn!
My LinkedIn?! No, please don’t expose my most hypocritical social media account.
I need to quote from this dude:
Me: I did all my work on the Juneteenth Holiday, so I could chill in the office the day after.
Z: Classic 码农(Coding Peasants) behavior.
…
Me: 50/50 applications went into dead ends.
Z: It’s their loss!
Me: Nah, I know where I am at.
Z: You’ve got some fake humbleness. Classic Shanghainese.
Me: No I sleep in all my classes.
Z: At least you go to classes.
Me: AI does all my work.
Z: ChatGPT should get your degree then.
Me: No, I was simply training LLM. I was sacrificing my own learning curve for a better model, aka benefiting the human race.
…
Me: Why did you come to this company?
Z: The VP sold me some dreams.
Is that even sayable...
…
Z: You guys are on summer holidays, right? I would be jealous, but less jealous seeing y'all being here.
Me: Lol, I got my first internship quite late. Should have done more things in Sophomore year.
Z: Enjoy the holidays while you can!
Me: Might as well just go lie in my parents’ bank accounts, aka, take a few gap years.
Z: GAP year - Getting Allowances from Parents.
It hits differently when cracking BS jokes in my mother tongue. Jiayi, I am sure you can relate. I was laughing in silent mode, or should I say vibration mode. Emma's desk was on my left. At this point, I think we are good pals with some tacit understandings: if one of us started doing something weird… Just let it be…
Next Up Internship Shenanigans:
Dear Intern ep8. Existential Crisis. Made A Friend.🫡🫡🫡
Since you've made it this far... Why not connect with me on LinkedIn?
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