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Hot Grill ep9. Amusing Ourselves to Death
Main Plot Starts Here
Video (main parts)
Thank you.
Speech
Wowie. I can’t believe that it is my 4th banquet. Seniors, we made it. I am excited to announce that, after four years, I managed to be a part of this banquet without ever getting an award. I am really proud of myself. Flowers don’t stand out without leaves. I am not being sarcastic – A friend of mine once told me, half of your life is just showing up. I say, bump it up to 90%. 90% of your life is showing up. You show up, and then you show off.
The question is, why am I showing up here? Neither have I won an All-American nor delivered any major contribution to the community. I am literally just, so normal. The most abnormal thing I have won is the UAA honorable mention. But I believe, no objections allowed, that, is what makes me stand out. In fact, that’s what makes all of you stand out. As student athletes, we all do something with such discipline, effort, and self-imposed obligations, that is much more intense than a part-time job. Now you might laugh or chuckle, but have you ever counted the ungodly number of hours you spend in Gosman? A year ago, I didn’t know those hours because I didn’t count them. I never counted.
But I did start thinking about the ROI of tennis in my senior year. Tennis, like all of my failed relationships, broke my heart in a way that is only more intense and brutal. In my first year, my goal is to be the NCAA women's singles champion. In my second year, my goal is to maybe be considered for entering NCAAs. In my third year, my goal is to stay on the lineup. In my last year, my goal is to stay on the team. There were certain ebbs and flows. More ebbs, less flow. I thought I was about to break up with tennis. I really did.
Now is probably the time to talk about some magical epiphany that elevates this speech to a higher level. But there was just, none. Truth is, I didn’t drop the team this season because I wanted to fix my sleep schedule. With my stress level, only varsity exercise can wear me down enough to pass out before sunrise. I managed to pull through the first week of the season, the second, third, …, and somehow, it was senior day. Before I realized, UAA is over. My season is over. My student-athlete career is officially over. Never will I ever play tennis again with such discipline, effort, and self-imposed obligations, that is much more intense than a part-time job.
So, no more tennis. It was not until the moment when that Rochester player hit a forehand into the net that I finally waved goodbye to my most loyal companion. College tennis was always there for me. It put me together when I first came to Brandeis. It kept me together as I am leaving Brandeis. 3 weeks ago, I had a dream in which I was hitting a serve with a toothbrush. That was when I realized that I have always loved tennis. I love tennis so much that I keep loving it even when it stops loving me.
College tennis has really brought me a whole world of experience. My teammates, my coach… When I said tennis lifted me up, I was referring to the silly locker room conversations, the cheerings with layers of echoes across the indoor facility, and so much more. So much more than just winning or losing. I mean it matters, but now after more than 80 matches I have played through, my most iconic memories are really not the beautiful shots I have played. Maybe coach Pauri remembers that. He always does. Pauri, you always say that you will keep repeating things until we do them: making a choice, being loud on court. You were so frustrated when we lost against Wesleyan in 2024. You said you are upset not because we lost. It’s because no one was cheering for those who were still fighting. It was as if we were all just sitting there waiting for the roast to be over. On the way back, you said, after years, all we are gonna remember will mostly be those team hangouts, lunches and dinners, with the 14-dollar team budget. I didn’t get it then, but I get it now. I really do
We definitely need more than 14 dollars.
I remember my teammates screaming and sprinting to me faster than all the 200s that we have run as I clinched against NYU in April 2024. I remember Rebecca and Chahana holding me against their shoulders as I accidentally cried after senior day. I remember the shenanigans on the van, and speaking of those long, bumpy van rides, oh, my, god. It was all those memories that lifted me up. All those memories, put together because we all play tennis, and I am absolutely in love with every single bit of it.
Seniors in this hall. You can probably relate to how I am feeling. My dear juniors and lower-classmen, I want to share these memories with you because I wish I could seize my moments earlier. I don’t regret seeing college tennis more wholeheartedly only in my senior year, but I wish I had spent more time living it fully, instead of calculating the cost-benefit of “playing tennis”. There is nothing wrong with quitting the team to focus on what you truly want. But when you are still in, promise me that you are in 100%. No thinking of “could have would have should have.” No spiraling of “I could have been in Springfest while I’m in UAA.” I wish you to live it fully, to feel every moment deeply. If you choose to stay on a team, be at present; see your teammates in every team setting; see how they battle through a match, how they scream, how they laugh. Lock eyes with them when they win and when they lose. No matter what your attitude is towards your sport, I wish you could make decisions that you never regret. Four years could be as fast as a snap. And after these four years, you will possibly never participate in a team sport with such discipline, effort, and self-imposed obligations, that is much more intense than a part-time job. Be grateful and respectful towards each moment, not only for the sport you are playing, but also to all your college moments. I wish I could do it again, so please, live it up. Make me jealous.
Lastly, I want to selfishly give a shout-out to all the international student-athletes here. You guys flew across the border to a foreign school, speaking a second language and playing a team sport with a new culture. Kudos to you all.
Thank you very much. That’s all I want to say.
Next up:
Hot Grill ep11. Coven Brunch Award Speech!?! (Uneditted cringe long version)
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